Taking Time To Rest.

I'm taking some of my own advice and looking after myself.

Hi Gang.

I can’t believe it is Monday again. The weeks have been flying by lately. Since I began teaching TEFL and doing more dog behaviour work from home, the clocks seem to have steam coming from them.

In truth, I will be working quite a bit from home "(or other people’s homes if dogsitting) over the coming months.

I am dealing with some adenomyosis health issues and am having an operation, the date of which is unknown. This means that if I am a responsible dog behaviourist, I will not start dogs off on programs that might get interrupted or that I can’t finish. It is very easy for a behaviour program to go wrong without enough guidance or input, and the last thing I would ever wish to do is make my clients feel worse, not better.

More than my fair share

Life has been very tough over the past three or four years. I’m not any worse off than anyone else, we’ve all had our share of shit to deal with, but mine has taken its toll, and I’m exhausted.

• I’ve horribly lost my beloved Moo (Tibetan Terrier x Cavalier, 6).

• On the same day, I lost my Nan, who I was a carer for and was probably one of the closest people to me that there will ever be.

• I lost two Uncles.

• An Aunt.

• Most recently, my Dad after a horrible struggle with Parkinsons and Dementia.

• Now, I’ve lost what was left of my fertility and have had to give up on the possibility of giving my partner a child of his own (he would make a wonderful father). With that comes not only a feeling of loss for myself (I quite liked the idea of a late baby) but of huge guilt that he could do better than some old bint who doesn’t function properly. (He would never think that. That is entirely my projection.)

• The fear of the upcoming operation. My PTSD spidey senses are tingling like feck about that one. The womb biopsy was traumatising enough. Luckily, my Gynaecologist is a very lovely and patient lady, and my partner could support me.

• COVID and Brexit left the dog industry in tatters. Nobody can afford to pay a 121-dog behaviourist anymore, and they all struggle to put food on the table and pay for electricity. So, less money, higher bills to pay, and reams of dogs left unhelped and struggling, for which I feel a touch responsible that I can’t do anything for them except offer the Fun Not Fear® Club as an affordable alternative.

I need a rest.

I’m coping well; writing is hugely therapeutic, but I’m tired.

My bucket is full, and my cup is overflowing.

Sole traders don’t get statutory sick pay.

I started TEFL to keep some money coming in, as I can’t stop earning for any period of time. This allows me to keep some parts of my dog business open without needing 121s until I am ready.

Teaching TEFL was a good decision, as it relieved the pressure on me to find money to pay my share of the bills. It also means I can now have some space to sort out my head and body and get myself back on track.

It’s less stressful than dog behaviour, as there are rules and definite answers to grammar, spelling, and pronunciation. Language has a structure that I don’t have to think up separately for each student. When working on behaviour, I need to make a bespoke plan for every dog client and teach each plan differently.

Students can say when they find something hard, easy, fun or boring. Dogs can’t, at least not so easily. Of course, I needed to be able to show some knowledge of the English language, and then, being me, I decided to get properly qualified, too. Twice qualified, in fact, as I’ve gained two certificates allowing me to teach, one of which is at degree level.

I will also need to recover physically from the upcoming operation. So, for the foreseeable future, I will finish up my last few clients' 121s and then work from home (or other homes when dogsitting).

This has been a huge decision for me, and I have not made it easily, as there is so much bad information out there, both locally and internationally, regarding teaching dogs how to navigate the world. But I am only human, and there is only so much I can do. I will keep writing this newsletter and my dog one, offering online advice in the Fun Not Fear® Club, doing my secretary job at INTODogs and running the Dog Welfare Alliance, so my foot is still firmly in the dog flap.

Dog behaviour support is a very rewarding but stressful occupation. I’m highly trained and on my way to becoming a clinical dog behaviourist, so my ultimate goal is to return to the dog world more fully once I have finished my qualifications and, in the meantime, make a living teaching English to speakers of other languages.

Plus, TEFL has been great fun so far! Apparently, I’m not a bad teacher.

Substack ai. Think this is bad? You should have seen the other ones it generated.

Taking my own advice

I’m always bleating on about putting on your own oxygen mask first and how you can’t pour from an empty jug.

If you don’t look after yourself, how can you be your best for anyone else? Especially when your occupation involves animals who can’t be their own advocate and rely on you being at your brightest to help them shine. It’s vital to know when you have had enough and rest long enough to recuperate and return stronger and better than ever.

So that is what I am doing. I’m removing the stress for a little while and recovering. While I recover, I will improve myself and my skills and level up so that when I return to doing what I was called to do, I will be in an even better position to help the local floofers get their groove back.

Take time for you

Life is far too short to spend stressing about things you do not need to stress about. Taking time out is one way to reduce that stress load, even if just for a while.

I’m also going to look at my diet a little more closely, as for a vegan, I’m rather porky. (“Porky” means a bit chubby before anyone jumps on me. Bad pun, I know.)

Dentist on Wednesday to get my broken root looked at. Gulp.

And maybe get some more regular fresh air.

What are you doing to look after you? Tell me in the comments.

Warm ‘n’ Fuzzies,

Freya xx