Why Are We Squeamish About Women’s Health? Myths, Misogyny and Misunderstanding.
Menstruation is not a dirty word.
I have a problem with menstruation. As I recently mentioned, I've been diagnosed with fibroids and adenomyosis.
This was after struggling for many years in silence, putting my symptoms down to “women's problems” and sweeping it all away under the carpet.
I call big fat clumpy lumpy bits that I call “birthing slugs” and all sorts of blood and gunk every month. And I bleed like that for weeks and weeks on end, often with only a few days break. Not the kind of things we generally discuss in polite society. Even now, I can feel my readers cringing. But why?
Thankfully, my GP is great, and when I finally told her what was happening, she acted quickly and sent me off to have blood tests and scans. The results meant I was to be sent to a Gynaecologist, and I was also put on iron tablets as the blood loss had made me anaemic.
The appointment is this Wednesday. I'm very scared as they will be sticking a camera into my womb, but also, this appointment can't come soon enough as twice now this week, I have woken up to a large amount of blood gushing out of me.
A bloody rude awakening
The first time it happened, I noticed my back was wet when I woke up. I put my hand to my lower back, touched my wet skin and brought my hand back to view. I was covered in blood. I was wearing a sanitary towel, but I may as well not have bothered. I could feel the blood running down my legs as I scuttled through the house, panicking to the toilet (which annoyingly is down a flight of stairs and through the living room and kitchen, at the other end of the house to my bedroom so I had to run through the entire house first.)
I had to call my daughter down to help me as it was still pouring out of me, all over my legs and clothes, when I got to the bathroom. I was terrified and burst into tears, naked from the waist down, stuck on the loo.
Again, when I woke up today, except this time, I managed to contain it more quickly and had a precautionary bath towel already laid on my bed for good measure.
Clinical and cold-feeling information
Naturally, I'm a wee tad concerned. But when you Google “Adenomyosis” symptoms, the articles say “heavy bleeding” next to a bullet point, together with a pile of other very clinical bullet points. It all sounds very normal; most say how common symptoms are.
They speak nothing of the terror of waking up looking like Freddy Krueger has just fingered you and then sitting naked on the toilet, covered in blood, crying out for your daughter to come and help you because you can't leave the loo to clean yourself up and regain some dignity.
Or of my now worrying about leaving the house to take my car to a garage full of men, for it’s mot this afternoon, in case it happens again. Or being scared of doing my restless leg stretches, wearing light-coloured trousers or taking the dog for a walk for the same reason.
If it is that common, why doesn't anyone speak about it?
We Talk About Health
We talk about having coughs and colds. In England, there has been a “cold going around” since long before I was born, that is ever-present. We chat about headaches. We are not ashamed of those. We happily divulge information about how last night’s takeaway gave us the shits at 3 am, and we sympathise fully with those who have horrible, dangerous illnesses like cancer or diabetes.
So what is it about women's bodies that make us feel like we must keep shush about the stuff going on under the bonnet?
Why Not Talk About Women’s Health Problems?
Cultural, social, and historical factors have made it tricky for women to chat openly about their health.
Taboos and Culture
Throughout history, societal norms have often discouraged talking about bodily functions, particularly those related to women’s reproductive systems. Menstruation, menopause, and fertility have been viewed as “private” in many cultures. In fact, in England, our vaginas are often referred to as “privates.”
This hushing-up of fanny chatter (funnily enough, I had a Great Aunt called “Fanny Chatters,” but that is a story for another day.) fosters shame and embarrassment. Women all over the world may grow up in environments where these conversations never happen or are framed negatively, making it feel wrong to speak openly about them.
“Female Hysteria” was once a term given to all kinds of mental and physical disturbance in women that a man couldn’t easily explain.
It was believed by 19th Century Doctors that problems with the genitalia led to hysteria and invasive treatments such as hysterectomy (removal of the uterus); some believe women were being forced to orgasm with vibrators or enduring enforced bed rest (despite men with the same symptoms being told to get fresh air and exercise) was the cure.
No woman wanted to undergo such cruel treatment, and of course, mental health is another taboo subject (though thankfully, more is spoken about it these days.)
While those days were long ago, the shadow of them still hangs over us, much as it does with many ways women have been mistreated and misunderstood over the years.
Lack of Education and Misinformation
In some places worldwide, there is limited access to accurate information about women’s health. Misinformation is rife. Women who are menstruating are viewed as tainted or dirty.
In some poorer countries, girls can’t afford sanitary products. They must stay home from school during their periods, affecting their education as well as their mental well-being from coping with the shame of a natural bodily function. Sadly, even in the UK, where we are generally much luckier, there are now cases being reported of “period poverty” where girls can’t access sanitary care, and no double are living in fear and being bullied as a result of this. I know I can’t afford the £2.80-for-ten pads and have to go for the cheaper ones for all but my worst periods (like the Satan-in-my-pants horrors of this past week.)
When there’s a knowledge gap, women may be unsure of what’s “normal” and what’s not, which can create a sense of embarrassment. If someone can’t talk about a health concern, they might worry about being judged or misunderstood. If a woman doesn’t realise what is happening to her is normal or abnormal, she may not know whether to ask for help.
Fear of Judgment
Women who speak openly about subjects such as menstruation, fertility issues, or sexual health often face societal judgment—sometimes subtle, sometimes overt.
This judgment can come from peers, friends, family, or even healthcare providers. The fear of being labelled as “too much,” “attention seeking,” “dirty,” or “indecent” can discourage women from addressing their health concerns publicly or even in a clinical setting.
Gender Expectations and Shame
Women are often expected to be discreet, polite, and self-sacrificing. Often, women and mothers are the caretakers of the rest of the family, putting themselves at the bottom of the list of priorities and, as such, do not expect to be taken care of. This can translate into not wanting to worry others about personal health matters or being seen as “gross” and “unladylike” if they speak openly about bodily functions.
This pressure can perpetuate the idea that women’s health topics are embarrassing and should be kept quiet.
Societal Discomfort with Female Anatomy
Who feels a bit squeamish at the idea of getting your hoohah out in public? Yet you are fine to do so with your arms and legs? Society teaches us to hide away our womanly bits and cover up anything remotely related to sex or reproductive organs. So we don’t talk about them. But really, they are just another bodily part.
When the entire world seems to agree that genitals and reproductive organs should be hidden away, it makes it very difficult to normalise chat about women’s health. Even health websites are very clinical about what goes on down there when they happily tell us in detail what to eat and how many things smoking a cigarette will do to us. If Doctors can’t talk about our bacon rolls, how are we supposed to?
Healthcare Barriers
A lack of access to female-centred healthcare professionals or supportive, educated providers can lead to negative experiences when women do seek help. Admittedly, this is not such an issue where I live in the UK, where we have well-women clinics where we can go and have smear tests and pregnancy checks, etc, done. But even then, the transvaginal scan I had done the other week was with a man. I was given the choice of if I would be ok with a man or if I’d have to go on the waiting list again for a woman. He was very nice, but it is still pretty terrifying.
Checks are scary. Tests are scary. Having been a victim of abuse at the hands of men can leave a person feeling very vulnerable indeed, and I don’t generally relish the idea of a stranger of any sex sticking things up to me and examining me. I’m meant to be having a camera inserted into my womb this week, and I’m almost hoping the bleeding stays too heavy for them to be able to do the procedure. THAT’s how worried I am about having the thing poked into my cervix.
If women feel dismissed by doctors, nurses, or even friends when they raise health concerns, they may internalise the idea that their issues are not worth discussing openly.
How to Break the Stigma
Education: While there is a small part of biology class in school that teaches about menstruation and reproduction, the whole class was shrouded in shame and giggling. At age 10 or 11, or however old we were, we had already decided that our bodies were embarrassing and funny. So, while many do not agree with sex ed. for younger children, I do think we should normalise at least talking about our body parts from a young age. (If that were the case, children might be more willing to talk about it when adults do bad things, too. Secrets beget secrets)
Open Conversations: Chat about our vaginas more often! The more we speak openly about what goes on, the more openly we can speak - which is good for all of us. Let’s make these conversations easier for our mothers, daughters, nieces, sisters and friends. Create or join support networks and feel empowered by doing so.
Advocate for Yourself: Find healthcare professionals who respect and understand women’s health concerns. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, request second opinions, or seek specialists. If you can’t, find someone who can do so for you. You are entitled to a chaperone at appointments, so bring someone you trust who can speak up for you if you do not feel able.
Role Models: Encourage public figures and media to highlight real stories about women’s health. Make Twiiter/X useful for once! Representation by those in the public eye can help others feel less alone and more empowered to speak up.
The embarrassment and hiding of “women’s problems” often stems from social conditioning rather than any real reason that women’s health should be hidden or taboo. It’s not like women’s genitals and reproductive organs are rare or unusual. Half of the human population has them. By bringing these subjects into the open and challenging outdated norms, we can make it easier to talk about and seek help for common problems we all suffer from, often in silence.
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